Shut the door, Baby. September 29, 2005

Seven years ago today, M and I decided that “just being friends” wasn’t really something we were interested in, and made the critical leap to actual coupledom, rather than just two people flirting with the idea of dating.

As soon as I met M, something in me recognized something in him. I can’t explain it. I won’t even do it the injustice of trying, because all the phrases sound so…overused. Was it love at first sight? No. I don’t think so. I didn’t love him the minute I laid eyes on him. I didn’t even lust after him the first time I laid eyes on him. What I did do was decide almost instantly that this was a man I wanted to know better. Much better. And I had a hunch that once I did that, I’d never want to be with anyone else.

Love came fast, and love came hard. Within a month I knew I wanted to marry him. The tricky part was convincing him that he wanted to marry me. 😉

So here’s to the man who makes my toes curl (in a good way) when he kisses me; who gets up with Linnea in the middle of the night and the wee smas so that I can sleep; who kills bugs and fixes clogged drains; who helped me with any and all manner of personal hygene when I was too pregnant to do it myself; who can tell by a look when my world is all off-kilter and who can make it right again just by putting his hand on the small of my back; who lets me see him at his weakest and most vulnerable; who tells me I’m a goddess; who cried when our daughter was born; who isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m out of line; who loves me for and in spite of who I am; who spoke his wedding vows so loudly, clearly, and emphatically that I knew without any shadow of any doubt that we were doing the right thing:

I love you.

Who knew she could be so opinionated?

Last weekend (while in Wisconsin) we stopped at Walmart to check out Halloween costumes. Being as Minneapolis is Target headquarters, it’s difficult to find a Walmart in the Twin Cities. Normally: this doesn’t bother me. But Target’s Halloween costumes are sort of spendy, and my MIL told me that Walmart had cheap ones. So as we were headed north in Menomenie and saw the Walmart, we stopped.

I had envisioned Linnea being some sort of a fairy for Halloween. She’s so tiny, and she’s got these big blue eyes and hair that makes whispy curls in the back…it seemed like some sort of pixie-fairy would be perfect. Plus, she’s so totally girly that I figured she would enjoy it.

So, we’re in the “Halloween Village” at Walmart and they had an impressive selection of fairy costumes. Must be trendy this year. They had peacock fairies, lady bug fairies, rose fairies, water fairies, dahlia fairies, Barbie fairies–a lot. All of them were Linnea’s size, which was cool because (once again) she’s pretty small. At 21-months she’s still wearing 12-month clothes.

I had supposed that picking out this year’s Halloween costume would go like picking out last year’s Halloween costume went: Mama saw it, thought it would be cute, put it in the cart and voila: Linnea is Tigger for Halloween. But no. I was looking at the Rose Fairy costume (Linnea looking so smashing in pink and all). I held it up, “Do you like this?” “No.” “Are you sure? You really don’t like it? Look how pretty it is.” “No.” “You don’t want to be a rose fairy for Halloween?” “NOOOOO.” “Well. What do you want to be then?” (Points) “Dat.”

She wants the water fairy costume. It’s not much. Certainly not as cute as the rose fairy or even the peacock fairy. Since the rose costume was rejected so enthusiastically, I held up the peacock fairy dress, “This one?” (Acting like I was confused about which one she wanted.) “No. Dat one.” (Pointing once again.) We had more conversations along these lines, with M standing behind us rolling his eyes and saying, “How about a ghost? You want to be a ghost, Nea? Daddy thinks you should be a ghost.” and both Nea and Mama turning to him and saying, “No.”

To make an embarassingly long story short: Linnea is going to be a water fairy for Halloween. She has chosen to accent her costume with a lovely set of beads that look like bubbles. I should have thought back to all the times my mother tried to get me to wear something she wanted me to wear, that I thought looked stupid. She didn’t win, either.

We’re taking our water fairy to the zoo for trick or treating. It will combine aspects of all her favorite activities–animals, outside, dressing up. It will introduce her to an activity sure to become a favorite–hitting up strangers for candy. Sounds like a good time to me.

So, tell me if this is a dumbass gift September 28, 2005

My MIL used to use this shampoo that she ADORED. But now, she can’t find it anywhere.

Just today, I was in Walgreen’s and they had a ton of it–and it looked like regular stock. It wasn’t some special promotion or clearance item.

We’re a little cash-short right now, but MIL’s birthday is on 10/6. Would it be hokey of me to buy her a couple of bottles of the shampoo she loves so much and has mentioned to me (several times) about how upset she is that she can’t find it anymore? It would be in our price range, but I worry that it would be like, “Happy Birthday! We got you shampoo!” as if we went through our house and said, “Quick! What can we take of ours to send to her for her birthday?!”

So? What do you think? She’s also getting a piece of Nea’s original art in a frame, but I figure that isn’t hokey for a grandma. It’s schmoopy.

Because I am a lemming

I’m stealing this from Cyn. Again.

I’m sort of in this creative dry-spell. I get blog topics dancing at the edges of my mind, and they are always almost immediately frightened away by the toddler that’s wrapped herself around my knees while screaming, “A clue! A clue! Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” as though if I don’t stop whatever it is I’m doing right that instant and turn on ‘Blues Clues’ the earth will slip off its axis and take out the entire solar system before colliding with the sun in what Roscoe P. Coltrane would call “a horrendous crash”. Never, ever in my wildest imaginings of motherhood did I envision myself pleading with my stubborn, tow-headed replica, “PLEASE, Baby. Can we watch ‘Barney’? Look! Look how much fun Barney is! Do you like the song? Here, Baby–let’s you and Mama sing the song!” Yes. I am a card-carrying member of Gen X, and yes: reality does bite.

So, anyway. Books I’m reading–just finished a reread of Gaiman’s “American Gods”. I highly recommend this book if you haven’t read it yet. And as a special treat, M brought home Gaiman’s new book “Anansi Boys” because I am (in his words) a “domestic goddess”. He probably said that because I managed to brush my teeth today.

And now, a meme.

Act your age?
I don’t know. Sometimes I think I act way older than my age. Other times I think I act less. But ultimately, it’s not really anything that I worry too much about.

Born on what day of the week?
Thursday, which according to Mother Goose means I have far to go. Great. I’m already tired, though.

Chore you hate?
Let’s see. I’m really not a fan of putting clean stuff away…dishes, clothes. I don’t know why, but I’d 100 times over rather wash dirty dishes and do laundry than take care of the stuff once it’s all nice and clean.

Dad’s name?
Tim

Essential makeup item?
Mascara and concealer for the bags under my eyes.

Favorite actor?
Like for acting ability? I gotta go with Tom Hanks.

Why?
I’ve liked him ever since I was a kid and I’d watch him on “Bosom Buddies”. That was my favorite show.

Hometown?
I don’t really have one. We moved around a lot when I was a kid. I suppose the city we lived the longest amount of time in was Kennewick, WA. The town where I did the most growing up though, would be Spokane, WA.

Instruments you play?
Violin. Although ‘play’ isn’t quite right. I played the violin 15 years ago. Now, it just takes up space in our storage unit, but I refuse to get rid of it.

Job title?
I’m the artist formerly known as Pastor Beege. Now, I answer primarily to “mama”.

Kids?
My sweetie petitee, Nea. Who is going through a phase that leads me to believe she’s channeling some sullen 13-year-old from the beyond.

Living arrangements?
In a small, 2-bedroom apartment that we love. Who knew that a 2-bedroom apartment in student housing could be the Happiest Place on Earth? But: there you go.

Mom’s name?
Corinne

Need?
Health insurance. And a job. But mostly health insurance so I can have another baby. No. Wait. A job WITH health insurance. If you have a spare one, please: send it my way.

Overnight hospital stays?
One night, January 30th, 2004, after giving birth to my MiniMe.

Phobias?
Oo. Spiders. *shiver*

Quote you like?
“Today was a waste of a manicure and a master’s degree.”

Religious affiliation?
Let’s hear it for the Lutherans!!!! L-U-T-H-E-R-A-N! What’s that spell? LUTHERAN! What’s that mean? Most of us have no clue!

Siblings?
Two brothers. Both younger.

Time you wake up?
Whatever time it is, it’s always too early.

Unique talent?
Um, I can inhale so powerfully that my nostrils slam shut and it makes me look like a Cabbage Patch Kid.

Worst habit?
Ahhh…too many to list, and far too many for there to be a ‘worst’.

X-rays you’ve had?
Dental x-rays, and once when I was like four years old my brother jumped on my leg when we were camping so my mom and her best friend took me into the emergency room in Billings, Montana because I kept telling them my leg was broken. It wasn’t.

Yummy food you make?
I really don’t know. I bake a good chicken, but that’s not tough. Oo! I know! I make killer gravy. I didn’t know how to make it when we got married, so M showed me, and now mine is better than his. There’s something sort of ‘StarWars’ about that. Maybe.

Zodiac Sign?
Pisces.

And now, because the “G” question has been lost somewhere in cyberspace–is there a “G” question anyone is dying to have me answer? I tried to think up some smart, witty question but couldn’t come up with anything. See if you can do better.

Ah…WisCAHnsin September 26, 2005

Yesterday we drove over to Wisconsin to visit a friend of ours–he was our bestman and is Linnea’s godfather (heh. I accidentally mistyped ‘godfarter’ which would also be an accurate asseesment). He just got married in June, and so we went over to see the wedding video and pictures.

Sweet fancy Moses! The wedding video was so freaking boring!!!! Even though it was one of our best friends as the groom, another one of our best friends as the pastor presiding over the wedding, and scads of other dear friends popping up in various different places and functions…it was boring. Boring, boring, boring. I tried to smile politely through it all, but inwardly was thanking God that Linnea was running around trying to “coloring” on their hardwood floors. And THEN: I thought of all the people I inflicted OUR wedding video on. And our wedding video? It’s no short thing. The service in and of itself was an hour. Then the videographer took video of pictures. And the reception. And then he set up in a little room so people could come in and give us personal messages of love and support and good wishes. Our wedding video rivals “Gone With the Wind” in length…I kid you not.

So, if you’re one of the unfortunates that I inflicted this video upon: I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I was a bride. I thought everyone was as fascinated by the event as I was. But you weren’t. I understand that, now. Please accept my heartfelt apologies.

Silence is Golden September 24, 2005

Just haven’t had much to say, lately. Not a lot going on in tiny principality of Beegeland.

We had terrible, scary severe weather Wednesday night. Homes were destroyed. Thousands of people without power. It had been HOT that day, and so we had all the windows open. All of the sudden there was a roar like a freight train and books, magazines, and DVD cases started blowing around our living room…sirens were going off…it was scary.

I’m terrible about severe weather though. When it’s bad, I don’t want to leave my television. We were under a tornado warning, and were told repeatedly to go to shelter, but I just didn’t want to leave my television security blanket, with handsome Ken Barlow telling me what was going on, so I’d know precisely when I could stop freaking out.

Having Linnea doesn’t make it any better, because when those sirens go off I have no idea how to keep her safe. I didn’t grow up in a tornado area. We don’t really HAVE severe weather in Eastern Washington. And even with three years in Kansas under my belt we were never sent to shelter…all the storms were well away from us (oddly enough). So: I just hate it.

I went jeans shopping today. I managed to find two pair that make the old trunk look not too bad…my ass up and disappeared after giving birth. I never had a butt you could serve drinks off of, but I did at least have a little bit of a curve back there. Not anymore. Now it looks like someone whacked me with a 1X12–flat, flat, flat. My body is like a total stranger since being pregnant and giving birth…completely different than what it was prepregnancy. I weigh the same, but I’m shaped TOTALLY differently. I’m not entirely happy about that. So when M goes on and on about his ‘belly’ (that disappears as soon as he lays down, so it hardly qualifies as a belly in my book) it’s about all I can do to not unzip my pants and slap him with my stretched out belly skin. You wanna talk belly, Babe?

Tomorrow we’re going to go hang out with some friends. I’m looking forward to it. It’s been some time since we’ve just hung out with people our age. The fact that these are some of the dearest friends in our world is just icing on the cake. 🙂

In the spirit of Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule September 20, 2005

I’m channeling my blog-buddy, Dennis today.

I was laying in bed late last night, thinking of movies that I really enjoy–taking a mental inventory of which ones we still need to get on DVD, and which ones I feel were sort of overlooked in their theatrical releases.

So here they are, in no particular order (and for no particular reason):

Beege’s Top Three Movies of All Time

1. Happy Texas (1999) This movies stars Jeremy Northam and Steve Zahn, escaped convicts who steal a ‘crappy camper’ and try and pass themselves off as gay pagent promoters in the tiny Texas town of Happy. While there they find out that the bank will have a large amount of money deposited after the citrus harvest is in, and so they linger in town. Along the way, Northam falls for “Jo” the (female) town banker and “Chappy” the (male) town sheriff falls for him. For me, the highlight of the movie is any scene that contains Steve Zahn, who chews up the comedic material with joy and enthusiasm. We saw this movie by accident–we wanted to see another movie that was out at the same time, but it was sold out. M is from Texas, so we decided: what the hell. And in that serendipitous fashion, we stumbled upon one of our favorite movies of all time. The soundtrack is also very very good.

2. Beautiful Girls (1996) This story of high school friends who reunite for a class reunion in small-town Maine (at least I think it’s Maine. It was filmed in Marine-on-St.-Croix, MN.) is, hands down, one of my all time faves. The $9.99 for the DVD is worth every penny for Rose O’Donnell’s monologue on beautiful (fake) women alone–“To the fatties, God gave big beautiful breasts. To the skinnies, he gave little tiny niddlers. God’s a fair guy, he doesn’t fuck around.” It stars Matt Dillon, Timothy Hutton, Rosie O’Donnell, Uma Thurman, Mira Sorvino, Lauren Holly, and a luminous young Natalie Portman. Directed by Ted Demme, the writing is good, the story is good, and the ending is somehow satisfying.

3. Mystery Alaska (1999) Starring Russell Crowe, Burt Reynolds, Hank Azaria and a well-rounded cast of lesser-knowns; directed by Jay Roach this is a great movie. It tells the story of an Alaska community league hockey team who end up playing the New York Rangers…and almost winning. What makes this moves one of my favorites is the inter-relatedness of the characters and how those relationships are written. It’s funny. It’s serious. It has swear words. And while it DOES resist the pat ending, there’s still enough goo in there for it to qualify to be the Disney movie it is. Not overdone goo. Just enough.

So, there you have it. Apropos of nothing: my three faves.

Also good are: Dangerous Beauty, The Red Violin, and Garden State (but everybody knows that already).

And there was playtime, and there was story time: the first day

Today was Linnea’s first day of dayschool.

In a spectacular way of getting off on the right foot: we all overslept. We don’t usually set an alarmclock, since Linnea has functioned as our alarm clock for nearly 21 months now, waking us up between 5:30 and 6:30 every morning. I woke up at 8AM (when she was supposed to be there) and said, “We have GOT to get going.” Naturally, I hadn’t packed her bag with extra clothes, the package of diapers and wipes, or filled out the immunization record on the application last night, as I had planned on having enough time this morning to do that. We managed to have her there by 8:30 (it helps that the center is across the parking lot).

For the first time in her entire life, I found my daughter to be a bit hesitant. Not a lot. But she kept coming back to me to lean on me for a few seconds before going off to play some more. But ultimately: she had a good time. She only cried when the teacher read a story about mommies and daddies, and Linnea realized that we weren’t there. But she was easily distracted and back to having fun within minutes.

And, a funny story: ‘Linnea’ was the 1,197th most popular name in 2004. That means that only one in nearly 1200 female births resulted in a child named Linnea. Our Linnea is the second Linnea in her dayschool class. Here we had prided ourselves that she would never ever have to be “Linnea LastInitial”…but she does. We actually got around that quite neatly by suggesting that the teachers call her Nea, which is what we call her at home a lot of the time. At least I do. I just think it’s amazing that with a name that unpopular, there’s two of them in her class.

When I went to pick her up, she was at story time–totally absorbed. When she saw me, she burst into tears. I couldn’t get to her fast enough and just held her and held her and held her. So while she had fun (and while I also enjoyed the time apart), we were very happy to be back together again.

Petty Annoyances September 19, 2005

I feel sorta bad writing about this. I really do. But I HAVE to get this off my chest, and who better to complain to than my scads of readers who will never ever meet the woman who has inspired these petty annoyances?

*sigh* My mother-in-law. She means well. She really does. That she loves us beyond redemption or recall, I have no doubt (ergo, the nebulous feelings about this post). But I just have to complain to someone, and I don’t want to complain to M about it. She’s his mom, afterall.

Back in May, we went to Texas to visit them and have family portraits taken. On our way home, we stopped at this quaint little town I’d always wanted to visit–Salado. The in-laws decided they would drive as far as Salado with us, and then return to their house while we continued northward to Kansas.

I had been looking forward to wandering around this town that’s full of art galleries, jewlery designers, fun little shops, etc. I love towns like this–towns that are just bursting with stuff to be discovered and admired. But with MIL in tow, we went to all HER favorite stores. A truly crappy art gallery, a horrendously ugly jewlery store, and a store called ‘Bundle of Joy’ which was an upscale baby boutique that was actually pretty darn cool, if not lightyears out of our pricerange. I mean, I’d love to live in a world where I could spend $55 on a onesie that has a monkey appliqued on it–but I don’t live in a world like that.

Anyhow. This store had really nice dolls. Vinyl head, arms and legs. Cloth body. The dolls do NOTHING. Just close their eyes when you lay them down and open them when you pick them up again. They don’t shriek, “Mama!” when you accidentally step on them in the night while trying to quietly check on your sleeping child. They don’t pee in a potty. They just ARE. And I loved that about them. MIL had said she wanted to get Linnea one of these dolls. I said, “Fantastic! Let’s let her pick one out!” BUT: all the dolls that were in stock were too small. MIL wanted to get Linnea a bigger doll. So I thought, “OK. These dolls aren’t too outrageously priced. I’ll get Linnea one this trip.” So I picked one out that had little pink camels on her little pink dress, and she smelled like vanilla. Bought her, gave her to an ecstatic Linnea, who adores ‘Nilla Baby to this very day.

Fastforward to July. In-laws drive up to Kansas for one last visit. While having a conversation about the girls, MIL says, “I really need to stop in Salado and pick up a dollbaby for S. She’s the only granddaughter I haven’t bought one of those dollbabies for. ” I immediately said, “No, she isn’t. I bought Nilla Baby.” Which flustered my MIL, because in her head she totally remembered that SHE had purchased the Nilla Baby doll. And really, it’s not THAT big a deal, it’s just that I don’t want her getting credit for purchasing Linnea something that she didn’t. It all comes down to the fact that K and S live 4 miles away from her, and get showered with “Meme Gifts” all the freaking time…and Linnea doesn’t. So I don’t want her cousins to be getting expensive dollbabies from Meme while Meme congratulates herself on getting Linnea the doll *I* bought.

See? Told you they were petty.

Also in July: I found some material I wanted my mom to makes sheets for Linnea out of. I figured: new room, new sheets. I was wonderfully excited to also find a matching polar fleece of Linnea’s favorite material (one with frogs and dragonflies). So I bought some, and my plan was to just cut a fringe around the edge. I was sitting on the couch one night with my scissors, reading myself to fringe, when MIL said, “I could take that and put an edging around it.” I said, “Like what?” She said, “Well, I could find a hot pink fleece to match and just do an edging.” I said, “That sounds great! Thanks!”

We just got the blanket back. It’s cute. It’s got the hot pink edging. And sewed into the hot pink edging? A “Made Especially for you by ____________” label with her name. This, for whatever reason, annoys me. I guess because it communicates that SHE found the fleece, SHE bought it, SHE had the idea of a nap blanket, and SHE did the edging. And: she didn’t. She’s taking total credit for the blanket when all she did was edge the damn thing.

Am I just crazy that these things bother me? ‘Cuz sometimes I feel like I am. I know that they’re totally petty, but that’s the way my MIL is: the petty stuff just wears you down and down and down until you do/say something stupid and then she’s off wailing about how much she knows you don’t love her.

*sigh*

Hmmmm. September 17, 2005

So.

I was coming to blog about something really interesting. Toward the end of dinner, I was struck with inspiration. And in the time it took me to get up from the kitchen table, walk to the office and sit down at the computer: it’s gone.

I have no idea what in the hell I was going to blog about. But I’m sure you would have enjoyed it.