Did I mention the craptacular week?
Well, the hits just keep on a-comin’.
My job? Was reclassified (oooo…I was classified!). I have been changed from a full-time member of the management team, to a part-time keyholder. Which means I’m pretty much their opening and closing bitch (but more closing, as no one minds coming in and opening all that much).
*sigh* When my boss told me that, my reaction was not to quit (which, apparently, my DM thought it would be). It was not to cry or rage or throw up or ask why me. I felt stirrings of…hope.
Sort of like the first time a mother feels her baby move…feather soft…anyone not keenly attuned for the movement would probably miss it…a quick little flicker that says, “This is not all.”
The other day I was on the phone with a customer in South Carolina. She was telling me about her dad who is in Stage 4 cancer, and dying, and she was really worked up about it, but then she suddenly stopped and said, ‘You know what, Beege. I just feel like I need to tell you what a blessing you are. God is telling me to tell you that you are such a blessing to his people, both in this job for Fashion Emporium, and your other job. I’m not sure what it is, but He seems to like you in it. Bless you Beege, God bless your sweet, sweet heart, and all the love you have in it.” She kept going (or rather: God kept going. Neither one of us were under any illusions as to who this was coming from), pummelling me with blessing, repeating it over and over and over again until I was crying at the cashwrap. I told her I was crying, and she said, “Oh, honey. I’m didn’t mean to make you sad about my Daddy!” and I said, “No, it’s not that. It’s that I’m way too willing to forget just how damn good God is, you know?” And she said, “Oh, yes I do. But he IS good, Sister. I know it. My Daddy knows it. And you know it.”
Thank GOD she’d given me an excuse to give my perplexed boss who was watching me weep at the cashwrap. I shrugged it off as a sad story at the wrong time of the month, and she accepted it.
But you better believe that conversation stuck with me.
Other things have come up within the last few hours as well…little heaven-sent messages. Hours before my boss called me into her office, I was praying while folding some tank tops, and said, “It’s happening, isn’t it?” and very clearly heard the reply, “Yep.”
The ties that bind me to the Fashion Emporium are loosening. I would have had a really hard time walking away from them, leaving them TWO managers down. But if they’re going to cut my job in half, replace my good benies with crap ones…the loyalty is decreased. I could walk away, particularly if walking away means getting back into a church.
And in closing, my favorite verse from my favorite hymn. The one that stopped me cold when I was 12 years old, and told me, “This is your relationship with God. Get used to it.”
Perverse and foolish oft I strayed
But yet in love, He sought me.
And on His shoulder gently laid,
And home, rejoicing, brought me.