Things you didn’t know about Beege. Well. Some of you probably know some of it… March 29, 2008

So, because I feel guilty about being so silent this month, but I’m too tired to come up with an original entry that does anything other than whine about how tired I am, I stole this from Jules. Y’all can thank her for saving you from another whine-o-rama from yours truly. 😉  

1. Do you like blue cheese?
Yes. I found a soft bleu cheese at Costco that is beyond delicious spread on crusty, warm artisan bread. Good God. Not healthy. But worth it.  

2. Have you ever smoked?
Yes. I’m sort of a social smoker…once I get enough booze in me, I want a ciggie. Or if I’m hanging out with my girlfriends, and one of them sneaks a ciggie: I’m SO in. I think it’s the forbidden thrill of it all. Whoo. Look at me, Princess Rule Breaker.

3. Do you own a gun?
No, although I like to shoot them.

4. What flavour do you add to your drink at Sonic?
I’m all about the diet limeaide. I’ve also recently discovered their blackberry iced tea, which is tasty without being too sweet, sometimes lemon in my coke, but other than that: I’m pretty much a purist. (Jules: Sonic is worth it, just for the drinks. The food is OK…but the drinks are fabu).

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Depends on what’s happening. When I was spotting and the doctor thought I was having a miscarriage? Horribly nervous. When I was getting an IUD put in? Slightly nervous. When I was getting a pap? Not nervous at all. Funny how all my doctor stories have to do with my noonie. Bet you’re glad you stopped by today.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I think they’re delicious covered in chili, cheese, and mustard (a la Sonic), cut up in mac ‘n cheese, or in pork ‘n beans.
7. Favourite Christmas movie?
Christmas Vacation. SO classic.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water. Sometimes coffee, although I’m more of a coffee smeller than a drinker (so going against my Lutheran roots–I’ll probably be defrocked for admitting I’m not a huge coffee drinker…). And cranberry juice, so I don’t get the UTI.

9. Can you do push ups?
A few. Probably. Who cares?
10. Do you know the secret to a happy life?
I don’t know, but I think waking up to a bed full of little girls in blanket sleepers is a key component.

11. What’s your favourite piece of jewelry?
My wedding ring; a pendant of a linnea flower; a “diamond” pendant M got me after Sarah was born.
12. Favourite hobby?
Blogging, knitting, reading, watching “Ghost Hunters”, COOKING.
13. Song you’re listening to right now?
The pseudo-jazz background music on “Little Bill”.
14. Do you have A.D.D.?
No. Sometimes I with I did, though.
15. What’s one trait you do not like about yourself?
No self-discipline.
16. Middle name?
Elisabeth. It was GOING to be “Elspeth” but my Dad said, “Ew! NO. You’re not naming her that.” One huge reason I’m a Daddy’s Girl. 😉 (I’m also projecting. I’m pretty sure I’ve never in all my 33 years ever heard my father utter the syllable “ew!”) 
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. I wish my new contacts weren’t so dang blurry.
2. If Linnea doesn’t go to bed soon, I’m going to whack out.
3. I’m so glad I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
1. Deodorant.
2. A swimmy suit for Linnea.
3. Prunes for my constipated Boog. (Incidentally, if anyone has any tips on keeping a 1-year-old regular, I’d be MORE than happy to hear them.)

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Water, iced tea, wine
20. Current worry?
Nea has complained twice about back pain–there’s nothing to see, pressure doesn’t hurt, it’s not constant, so I’m sure it’s something like her back giving her twinges after she’s been standing funny or something, or she hurt it while doing her acrobatics, but deep inside? I’m worried it’s something serious. I always do that. When she was little and kept getting ear infections I was convinced she had eardrum cancer.

21. Current hate right now?
Feeling completely powerless to move forward in my actual career.
22. Favourite place to be?
Depends. Wednesday night, it was at Anthony’s restaurant, looking out over the Columbia River with the love of my life holding my hand across the table, enjoying our first time alone in weeks and anticipating a fabulous meal that we’d be able to sample, discuss, and share with one another, without having to worry about the fact that Anthony’s doesn’t have a children’s menu. Actually, that’s part of the allure. 😉 The other day? All four of us in bed, Nea and Sarah snuggled close in their jammies as we talked together about what we were going to do with our day. Always? The beach.

23. How did you bring in the New Year?
I’m not sure I did. I can’t remember–and not in that “I partied so hard I don’t remember any of it” sort of way. I’m almost positive I just went to bed.
24. Where would you like to go?
To my own place–house, apartment, don’t care. Just so long as it’s my own, with my stuff, and my family, and pretty much no one else, and we can sit and eat in the living room and watch “King of the Hill” like we used to.
25. Name four people who will complete this:
Anybody else who’s too lazy to do an original entry.
26. Do you own slippers?
A ton. I don’t really wear them though. I’m too hot blooded, and I don’t like things on my feet.  But slippers just LOOK so fun, I always buy them.
27. Last magazine you read:
Real Simple.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Nah–I don’t like the static and my hair. Snort. One time? I bought satin sheets to surprise M, and a satin nighty…I climbed into bed and nearly slid out the other side. M fixed it for me–we got nekkid in a hurry, and the problem was solved.
29. Can you whistle?
Yes, but I don’t enjoy it.
30. Favourite colour?
Purple and orange.

31. Would you be a pirate?
Little do my readers know: I’m a pirate every single time Linnea takes a bath. Argh. 😉
32. What songs do you sing in the shower in the morning?
Umm…the last few days it’s been “Superman” by Five for Fighting. Not sure why.
33. Favourite girl’s name?
Honestly? I love “Magda”, after the Magdalene, though I’d never saddle any child I cared about with that name in this day and age.
34. Favourite boy’s name?
Samuel.
35. What’s in your pocket right now?
No pockets.
36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Sarah laughing at me.
37. Best bed sheets as a child?
Holly Hobbie.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Um, I tore pretty badly delivering Linnea. Does that count?
39. Do you love where you live?
I do. I love living in the land of mountains and vineyards, of rivers and deserts. I love the cold, crisp, high desert nights and the warm days. I love living mere hours away from the beach, and I love feeling like I’m back where I belong: home.
40. Cat lover or dog lover?
More dog than cat, but most cats come potty trained, so we get them. I have recently developed a deep desire to own a Great Dane. I think they are SO cool.
41. Who is your loudest friend?
Brad.

42. How many fish do you have?
One. A blue betta named “Feather”. Nea wanted to name him “Grooba” (where the hell does she live? Clan of the Cave Bear?!), I said no and suggested “Blue”, she said no and repeated “Grooba” and M intervened diplomatically suggested “Feather”–both parties found that to be agreeable, though we each secretly believe that our name was better.
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
I think I’m the object of several crushes. But my heart belongs to M. 😉
44. What is your favourite television show?
Ghost Hunters, or Six Feet Under, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or My Name is Earl or the Tudors. You pick.
45. What is your favourite book(s)?
I adore the entire “Outlander” series…I’m a huge fan of “Pillars of the Earth” by Ken Follet…I still read my L.M. Montgomery books and I’m eagerly awaiting the day when I can read them to my girls, because they were so important to me (thereby guaranteeing that my girls will give neither a rat nor his ass about any of them).
46. What is your favourite candy?
Reese’s Peanut butter cups. Or Reester Bunnies. Or the snowman version at Christmas time.  Oo! Or these gourmet chocolate bars I buy at a boutique here for M for special occasions–I can’t remember the name of them, but they have one that has bacon in it, one that’s wasabi, ginger, and black sesame seeds with dark chocolate, one that’s got chipotle chili, mexican cinnamon and dark chocolate, etc. Those are some good stuff.
47. Favourite Sports TEAM?
I don’t know. I suppose that I will have to become a Mariner’s fan if I am to continue living in my parents house.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Too many. Barber’s Adagio, Oh Sacred Head Now Wounded, What Wondrous Love is This, lots and lots of Bach, songs that were important to me and the people that I love. Maybe I should just have a musical instead of a funeral–A Musical Tribute to Beege.
Number 49 has escaped. If you see it, do not approach as it is considered armed and dangerous.

50. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Crap. I have to pee. Might as well get up.

An Unknown Life March 8, 2008

My grandfather died two years ago this month. He and I were not particularly close–he wasn’t big on girls. He treasured his grandsons, and made it clear that I was good mostly as an afterthought–though he did call me “Princess” and I loved him for that.

I take it as further evidence of the existence of Karma that his seed will peeter out, given the fact that all of his grandsons and granddaughters have (thus far, anyway) given birth to girls.

When he died, we began to go through the house that he and my grandmother had lived in since my mother was 17. It’s a big house, old, and neither one of them was inclined to throw anything away. Like most members of the generation that lived through the Great Depression: you kept everything you had, because you never knew when you would need it. In Grandpa, that event had an additional impact of making him stingy, and a bit of a miser.

He died with a lot of money in the bank, and more possibilities of income since his house and a good deal of acreage that he owned is smack-dab in the middle of major development in the Vancouver/Portland area. My grandpa was rich. He could go in and pay cash for a brand-new, top of the line car–and then he’d leave it to be slowly taken over by moss and blackberry brambles out in the old milking shed.

But the greatest thing that I got? Boxes and boxes of pictures.

 This is a picture of my grandmother.

I don’t know how old she is in the pictures, but I was shocked to find out that her belly button had ever seen the light of day, much less been paraded about on a crowded beach. She belonged to a church that believes that women should remain silent and submissive, that their hair should be covered, and that they should stay home and raise the babies.

It looks like Grandma might have raised a little hell before settling down to raise the babies.

And for me, this is where the bittersweet treasure lies. I never got to know this side of my grandmother. Never knew about the cheesecake poses on the beach in her two piece, never knew about the honeymoon pictures that show that my grandparents really DID have some level of passion for one another at least in the beginning. What I knew was this:

This is a picture of my grandmother teaching me how to crochet. I think I’m about seven in this picture. I remember those chalky pink peppermints that she carried in her purse. I remember that she always used to enclose pieces of gum for us kids when she wrote Mom a letter (I always like it when it was cinnamon CareFree!). I remember that she made cinnamon rolls. I remember her hands smelling like cardamon. Later, I remember disappointing her because I went to seminary–because I wore make-up–because I cut my hair–because I played an instrument–and because I married someone who looked “Jewish”.

I wish now, that I’d had these pictures, so I could show them to her and say, “This girl is in here somewhere! This girl who is fun, fearless, flirty, and bold. Who’s not afraid of what people think, but wants to make her own way! Where did she go?”

I’m sure I’ve never met this woman. She is unknown to me. But all the same–there’s a familiar tilt to her chin. A familiar glint in her eye. I am not an anomoly. I came from somewhere. And when I discovered these pictures, in a dusty box in my grandfather’s attic, I stopped feeling like an afterthought, and more like someone who didn’t fall far from her family tree.

And that’s the best inheritence I could have gotten.