I’m sure most people have seen this by now, but this is the full version, so it’s worth watching. If you haven’t seen it yet: grab a kleenex and sit back and get ready to have your face rocked off.
Thank you, Susan Boyle, for having the courage to chase this dream down. For daring to stand in front of Simon Cowell in your ivory lace dress, your unplucked eyebrows, and your pantyhose. Thank you for standing there with your “cheeky grin” and opening your mouth and letting that amazing voice fly free.
I hope that I can teach my girls to be like you.
In other news: today, I popped into my old store to say howdy to folks. The District manager was there, and I’d not seen her since well before my decision to quit to stay home with the girls. She gave me a hug (very gratifying!) and asked how I was doing. I told her that I was utterly gobsmacked at how happy I was staying home with my girls, and that I’d expected to be crawling the walls at this point. She asked where the girls were, and I said they were at daycare today because it was Thursday.
She immediately poo-pooh’d my contentment with all things domestic by saying, “Well, that’s why you’re happy. You don’t have them all the time.” I laughed, agreed, and then later realized that REALLY bothered me.
I fully understand that there are women out there who have absolutely no desire to stay home with their children. They want and need to work outside the home. I fully grant them this freedom, and support them in their choice to do so.
I fully understand that there are women out there who want very much to stay home with their children, but can’t because their family needs them to bring home a paycheck, and so they go to work with lumps in their throats and let other women raise their children for them.
I fully understand that there are women out there who want nothing more than to spend their days surrounded by their children, laughing, teaching, playing, struggling, disciplining, soothing, smooching, chastising, tearing out their hair.
If you asked me six weeks ago, I would say that I was a mixture of the first two, but mostly the first. I was wrong. Time is heavy on my hands on the days the girls are in daycare. I miss them. I find myself carrying nuks in my pocket for no reason, sniffing their little pjs before I put them away in the drawer, looking at pictures at them. It’s really quite lovesick, to be honest.
I just wonder why we as women can’t just support one another. I would never dream of making such a dismissive comment about the DM’s career decision. Some women want to work. I think they should. Some women want to be at home, but can’t. I hope their situation changes so they can do what they want. Some people find that having a parent home is well worth the sacrifices that it requires. They should be able to make those sacrifices without feeling like they’re somehow…unfit for doing so.
This isn’t one of those “I work hard, too, dammit!” SAHM posts. Really, I so enjoy staying home with the girls that what I do now feels like vacation compared to what I did before. But I just wonder why we have to tear one another down all the time.
It starts early…pretty much once a woman has two lines on her pee stick, we’re picking at one another. Find out the sex? Or not? Breastfeed? Bottle? Cloth or disposable diapers? Cosleep? Crib? Pacifier? Montessori school or Head Start, or let them be a kid until kindergarten? Activities? Or not?
No matter what decision a woman (and her partner) make about the care and feeding of their children, someone, somewhere will not hesitate to tell her she’s wrong to do it, or dismiss it as irrelevent, etc. I just think that’s sad. Like this job isn’t hard enough already.