Mairsy Dotes

"No faith is as solid as a wounded faith."

Two roads diverged in a wood… February 15, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — beege @ 2:06 am

So, I’m not sure if I mentioned this or not (and I’m too lazy to go and look) my job has been reclassified. I’m not a part-time manager, who can “flex” up to full-time depending on the needs of the business.

I have shared that here. I remember now.

What this means, for me, is that I have to be AVAILABLE 40 hours a week, but they might only schedule me for 20. This makes arranging childcare a challenge, to say the least. We’ve been ending up paying for full-time childcare, and using it because my philosophy is if I’m paying for it: we’re using it.

I was crunching numbers in my head, and I realized that we would actually have MORE money if I wasn’t working, and I stayed home with the girls full-time. It seems a bit strange that we’d actually have fewer financial issues if I wasn’t bringing home a paycheck, but: it’s true.

So now, I’m struggling with a couple of things.

*We have got a kick-ass childcare provider. We love her. The girls love her. She loves the girls. She teaches them things. Her caregiving is consistent with ours. She’s a gem. My big fear is what we do if I get another full-time job and she doesn’t have any room for the girls.

*It seems a bit silly to put ourselves in a financial bind for a “maybe she won’t have any openings” scenario that may or may not come to pass.

*Linnea will start school in the fall. I will never have time with her like this again. It seems foolish to piss it away going to a job that I dislike, that doesn’t really provide us with much and actually takes away quite a bit.

*Having me home all day would ease some of the household burdens…I could do the cooking and the cleaning, freeing up weekend time to be fun time and allow some of the stress all the adults are living under to dissapate a bit.

There is a church that needs some intensive pulpit supply this summer. The pay is freaking amazing. I could TOTALLY do it, and do it much more easily if I wasn’t also working at Fashion Emporium.

So there are a lot of reasons to do it, and not a lot of good reasons not to. I just have to rustle up the courage to do it. I think I’m going to talk to Miss K and ask if  she would take the girls part-time…sort of as a placeholder. But that I would be with them most of the time, and we wouldn’t have to shell out over a grand a month for childcare.

Then, in the fall, we could re-evaluate. Do we like me being at home? Where am I at with finding a call?  Should I try for another full-time job? Or do Sarah and I hang out together for a little while? The p0ssibilities are endless….