Mairsy Dotes

"No faith is as solid as a wounded faith."

Odds…and Ends September 30, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — beege @ 5:47 am

Life: still hectic.

Work: still remarkably unsupportive of the pregnancy. I’m looking for something new, but it’s really hard to find a place that wants to hire a pregnant woman–not that I can blame them, but still.

Love life: Good! Haven’t spotted for awhile, so “Mommy and Daddy’s Special Bedroom Time” is back on track–for the most part. When I’m not too tired to even contemplate the deed. 😉

Parental Life: Nea has been bumped to the “Big Kids” class. Her slight discipline problem seems to have evened itself out–which is all to the good, as I was starting to worry that perhaps we’d given birth to some sort of sociopath, given her hitting, scratching, and pushing of kids too small to defend themselves. We DID have an issue the other day when Nea, her friend Hannah, and her friend Charlie colored all over their tummies with crayon. THAT story made it around married student housing in record time, as Charlie was given a time out for it, Hannah was not, and whether or not Nea got one, too, was unknown. The general feeling seemed to have been if one got a time out, they should ALL have gotten a time out. So I’d heard all about it by the time I went to pick Nea up. Sure enough, she had color on her tummy. The teacher said, “I’m not really sure what happened. I wasn’t in charge, I was on diaper duty. I don’t know who was in charge or why they weren’t paying closer attention.” Linnea looked at her and said, I’m in charge.”  So there you go.

Belly report: I’ve popped. I don’t think I looked this big until I was 20 weeks along with Linnea. Somewhere around week nine I went to bed looking normal and got up the next morning looking pregnant. I can no longer see my feet, and just have to trust that they’re still there. MIL keeps saying, “I wonder if you’re pregnant with twins.” I keep saying, “With as often as they’ve had the tweeter scope up there, checking things out, if there were two: we’d know.” We got to hear the heartbeat externally a couple of weeks ago–I’d had more spotting, and the doc didn’t want to do another ultrasound if she didn’t have to, so she said she’d try and hear the heartbeat with the doppler. Because this woman knows me, she cautioned that it was VERY EARLY to hear the heartbeat externally, and that if we didn’t find it, I shouldn’t freak out because she’d do an ultrasound to make sure everything was fine.  She found it–loud, and strong, and steady. She cried. I cried. It was good. There’s a lot of really wonderful sounds in the world, but none that are better than the first sound of your baby’s heartbeat…maybe especially when you weren’t sure you’d ever get to hear it.

And now I’m going to toddle off to bed and try to get another hour’s sleep befo

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Blogging for Two September 11, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — beege @ 7:12 pm

Sorry for apparently going AWOL. I can’t believe it’s been a month since I’ve written–but life has gotten suddenly and unexpectedly rather nutso.

While we were on vacation last month, we found out we were pregnant with our second baby. It was a bit of a shock–considering what all we went through (heh, which really? In the big scheme of things? Wasn’t that much.) to get Linnea. Apparently all we had to do to get knocked up was separate M and I for over a week, and let the resultant homecoming take it’s course. No monitoring of bodily fluids, no boxer shorts, no nixing the hot baths or hot coffee, no tracking temps, no keeping calendars. Just a simple, “Oh, my GOD I missed you! Put Linnea down for her nap early!” seemed to do the trick just fine.

I’ve been feeling generally first trimestery–hence the silence on the blog-front–and work has been less than understanding of my restricted abilities but I’m about eight weeks along now, so: whoo-hoo!

Last week we had an ultrasound. It was so amazing! I have no doubts as to my abilities to love this one as much as I love Linnea. What DID surprise me, as I saw my wee little Qtip on the screen was that I already DO love it as much as I love Linnea. I was cooing indearments, babbling maternally, and generally making a fool of myself over her (yes, yes I do think it’s a girl). I spent the week thinking of baby names, buying maternity clothes, pondering yarn for a baby blanket, telling friends and family our happy news–all of it.

And then this weekend I started bleeding. [Insert screech of recordplayer needles across vinyl here.] It really throws you. I haven’t even known about this little person for an entire month yet. On screen, she literally looked like the fuzzy end of a Qtip. And yet I became paralyzed at the thought of losing her, of never getting to hold her—or shit: feel her move inside me, kick her dad through my belly–any of it. I spent the weekend horizontal, (after the doc on call told me, “It’s probably a miscarriage. Get off your feet and hope for the best.” Yeah, um, Doc? You’re bedside manner? It freaking sucks ass.)talking to her, deep inside, willing her to stay put. I called out sick to work, and my boss said, “You won’t lose this baby. You’re strong.” As if strength has anything to do with it! As if Kegels will keep that little one in there during a miscarriage.

Today, I went in to see my doc, and got another ultrasound. Q, as I’ve come to call her, is fine. They found the heartbeat right away. When they told me that, I just started to weep. Tears poured out of my eyes and soaked my hair and the little exam room paper I was laying on. I hadn’t cried all weekend, because I was just holding on so tight. Once I knew she was OK, I could let go–relax. Breathe. She’s bigger than she was a week ago. She doesn’t look so much like a Qtip anymore, but more like a little baby. And she’s perfect. Heartrate 166 beats a minute. Measurements right on track. No discernable distress or trauma. Thank God.

Of course, we can’t have intercourse until the bleeding has stopped for a week. M says he’s fine with that–it’s a small price to pay for a healthy baby. We’ll see how he feels about it next Monday night. 🙂