2AM Musings

How is it 2am? And how is it that I’m awake…not still, but again?

• Linnea hasn’t been sleeping well since our trip out west. I think it was the time change, and the stress of the situation, and she was sick while we were back there–all of it contributed to her getting way overtired in a very big way. She’s been waking up with night terrors (which she tends to get when she’s overtired) for about the last week. The last few nights seem to have been better–she doesn’t wake up screaming, so that’s always good. But it’s as though her little body is just in the groove of waking her up at about midnight. Last night M stayed with her. Tonight, I was going to go all “Solving Your Child’s Sleep Problems” on her azz and just let her cry it out. Didn’t work out that way. She cried off and on for about 3o minutes, so I went in to her to make sure she had her Nuk and her blankie and BabySister Monkey. She was scared. She didn’t want to close her eyes. She wanted me to hold her. So I crouched by the bed and we prayed; we sang “Old MacDonald”; I tried to fake her out. Finally I just thought, “If you are the only thing between her and her fear, and if your presence is the only thing that will allow those sweet blue eyes to close and rest: you need to be here for her. So what if Dr. Richard Ferber doesn’t agree with your decision? You’re the Mommy.” So I crawled into bed with her, hauled her up against me, kissed her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, her “mouf”, and then just breathed into her hair until I felt her relax.
• Now Linnea is asleep. M is asleep. And I? I am awake. Wide awake. At 2AM.
• Interesting discovery? M apparently ONLY snores when I’m in bed with him.
• I HATED jack-in-the-boxes when I was a little kid. Hated them. They scared the shit out of me, because I never ever knew when they were going to pop out of the box. It wasn’t until my late 20’s that I realized the freaking SONG tells you when the thing is going to pop. For me, it just always seemed so random and frightening. Linnea has a “Rugrats” video, and Chuckie (yay, Chuckie!) calls it a “jerk-in-the-box”. That about sums it up right there, doesn’t it Chuckie my boy?
• I’m just dreading doing our taxes. I’ve hated this time of year ever since becoming an ordained minister and not having any withholding taken from our checkes. It’s always such a freaking huge check to have to write. I’m hoping that several months of unemployment coupled with a job that DOES have taxes withheld makes the bite a little less severe. I’m hoping.
• I’m contemplating a career move. Same company, different position, different store. It would mean health insurance for Nea and I. It would mean I could get pregnant again. It would also mean leaving the boss I love and adding a commute to my workday…but all things considered, I think it would be a good move for us.
• I spent all day today cleaning our apartment. It had gotten pretty yucky. It’s never ever a good sign when you play “What’s the Smell?” everytime you walk in the front door. But now the house is clean and sparkling and tidy and smells good. The answers to today’s episode of “What’s the Smell?” are: WhiteBarn Candle Co. Clover candle and Clean Linen CarpetFresh. A distinct improvement over yesterday’s dirty litterbox and styrofoam meat trays in the garbage.
• Incidentally, up until just recently, I was a firmfirmFIRM “Yankee Candle” girl. Wouldn’t buy anything else. I loved their scent selection, the way the candles burned, etc. But something is wrong with YankeeCandle. I’m not sure why, but their candles don’t scent like they used to. Plus, they’re getting rid of my favorite scents and keeping things like BUTTercream and rASSberry Sorbet (Like that juvenile humor? It took me a little while to come up with it. I must be getting tired.). So I discovered WhiteBarn Candle Co. I’d tried them before–their candles that smell like Bath and Body Works scents, but hadn’t been impressed. I’m still not impressed by those, but their main candle line is dee-vine. Good smells, good scent penetration, burns evenly and melts quickly. I’ve been converted.
• Also good in the candle department? Soy Candles By Sharon. I highly recommend “Twigs and Berries” and something like “Oatmeal and Milk”. I’m not too excited by the music that plays on the website, but that’s why God invented volume knobs.
• We’ve spent a lot of time lately reading “Once Upon a Potty”. For some reason, the opening line (“Hello! I am Prudence’s mother.”) gives Linnea the chortling giggles. For that reason, we’re willing to read it as often as she asks.

And now, I think I’m going to toddle off to bed. I hope I’m tired enough. I hope Linnea doesn’t wake up again. And I really hope that you’re not also up at 2AM, coming here and reading this. And if you are: we should really both get some sleep.